Let’s see what you wagered…

I’m back in my hometown at this moment.  It’s kind of my weekend.  Although I did have to do some contracted work and attend a dentist appointment, yesterday and today were my days off from my main job.

Teaching season in my hometown has started up again, that’s what the “contracted work” is.  Whenever I want to not sound like a freelancing musician being worked to the bone, I like to classify what I do as being “independently contracted”.  Really, I’m just commissioned for my knowledge and passing that on to youth, but however you see it or whatever you want to call it, I love doing what I do.  I get to drum and influence people to drum.

Luckily whenever I travel back, I get to meet up with a few friends and relax over a few drinks or a tasty meal. It’s very heartwarming to hear the laughter of people you don’t get to see very frequently.  It’s kind of like that quote:  ”The more things change, the more things stay the same.”  But digging a little bit deeper, it’s more like knowing that however far and however long you’ve been away, you’re always welcomed back into someone’s life with smile.

I always see it as very fortunate that I am frequently surrounded by people who care about me and on the flip side, people that I care about.  But I’m realizing that I’m in a very peculiar and at least for me, an odd situation.  I’m in that midway stage of being a “young adult”.  It frightens me sometimes when I see some of the kids I teach and to know that I’m a decade older than them.  That’s ten years. In a couple of years, I’m simply going to be considered as an “adult” and I’ll probably be in the classroom with people that are still in their late teens.  I get advice from those people who are older than me that tell me to “take advantage of it” meaning my “youth”.  But then I get scolded by others that ask me, “When are you going to grow up?”  Should I live fast and die young or try to find the formula for immortality?

I recently read an interview from Tim Allen (Yes, that is THE Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor).  And there was this statement he made that he hates seeing people his age acting like kids.  Even though Tim Allen may not be at the popularity that he once was at, he still is a successful individual and he especially has accomplished and overcome a lot more than I.  So I have very little authority to simply dismiss his words just because he doesn’t have a prime-time sitcom anymore.  I thought about what he said and I have to agree with him to a certain degree.

I get frustrated with people that seek out attention as if it’s still some high school competition.  Actually witnessing slap-stick humor in front of my eyes makes me worry about that individuals health and well-being in a couple of years.  People that gossip just to gossip and talk down about people increases my blood pressure and gives me a headache.  I wonder how some people can drink multiple servings of soda without thinking of the amount of sugar entering their bloodstream?  I believe enough years have passed where common sense and courteousness should be applied to nearly everything that happens.

I don’t want to work as a server or in customer service when I’m reaching my “mid-life”.  I want a job where my knees aren’t swollen because of standing all day. I want a “grown up” job honestly where I’m surrounded by other “grown ups”.

But then I think of another quote that kind of goes like, “The problem with people these days is we’ve grown up too fast.”  For years I’ve believed that and I still do.

The moment when I realized I’m at an age that being a “responsible adult” is expected was quite recent.  It happened after thinking about these two things…

1.  People are getting engaged and married now.  And it won’t be considered young or foolish anymore.

2.  People are actually deciding on having children and it’s not by mistake anymore.

I think that the reason why that slightly frightens me is because I haven’t grasped that those two things are acceptable yet.  I still need a couple of years before it becomes a standard occurrence.

I hear someone go “Hey Mike!  Have you met my wife?” and in my mind I’m like, “Wait…  People can be associated by wife and husband right now?”

To think that I can stop by a friends house be like, “Oh look, there’s your kid right there…”  That is still odd for me.  There is definitely nothing wrong with it, but goodness gracious…  That’s a baby!

Obviously, one reason why it’s strange is because I do not have any of those things in my life.  I don’t have a relationship nor do I have a kid.  I think the bitterness of being single for a few years is leading me towards a life that will be filled with many stray cats and a crazy personality.

I think the book “The Little Prince” impacted my life a little too much.  Because even though there is a typical societal growth that is “expected”, I really don’t want to be a part of it now.  I don’t want to talk to people about dress ties and their different knots.  I don’t want to talk about cuff links.  I don’t want to talk about socks with designer patterns on them.  I don’t want to talk about how my luxury car is better than your luxury car.  I don’t want to talk about the thread count of my bed linens.  I don’t want to have more than one suit or a tuxedo.  I don’t want to talk about investments or stocks.  I don’t want to talk to someone that owns a yacht.  I don’t want to be looked down upon when I open up a bottle of Premium or a can of PBR.  I don’t want to have more dress shoes than sneakers.  I don’t want to have more buttoned-ups than t-shirts.  I don’t want to call it a night at 10:00 because I need to be in bed by 10:30 if I want to get a full eight hours of sleep and have enough time to cook breakfast.

I think there is a time for all of that, but for me it’s not now and it’s not in the near future.  Right now, I still follow underground rock bands and schedule my life around their tours.  I still use the word “dope” to describe something that is awesome.  I still get excited over really cool stains, paint jobs, and finishes on drums shells.  I still want to get hungover. I still want to have shaggy hair.

Am I afraid of growing up?  I think so.  But it’s not really the aspect of growing up and gaining all those responsibilities of adulthood that scares me.  I’m excited for the day that I will start to live my life for someone I love and for the family that I will have and starting silly traditions and watching “the game” with the guys over a few brews and grilling some big pieces of meat and for having an imperfect life but not wanting to change it for all the money and power in the world.  That is going to be so “dope” when that happens.

But I see so much deceit and falsehood with this world that is associated with growing up.  I see all these business professionals or people that are viewed as successful and see how their lives are fueled with ways to “fit in”.  Impressing others with their ties, cuff links, suits, dress shoes, and designer socks.  Buying Audis, BMWs, Lincolns, or Lexus just because people you know own those things.  Owning beach houses, summer houses, condos, or apartments you live at only for part of the year just to tell your co-workers you stayed at your beach house, summer house, condo, or apartment for part of the year.  Watching shows like “Dancing With The Stars” so you can keep up with “it” and have water-cooler talks with other people.

I turn on the TV and see commercials for products and I think about how some marketing company paid actors, created an environment, and wrote a script to make the viewer believe in its authenticity.  I open up magazines and see advertisements for fragrances and there are models that are supposedly what people aspire to look like.  I see people who will only wear certain designer clothes to be associated with whatever that brand represents.

What I see when I look out into the world that has been created by these “grown ups”, business professionals, and successful people is the opposite of genuineness .  I see people who have lost one’s self.  And that’s what I’m afraid of when these years pass before my eyes is that the core of my self is going to be replaced with something other than a funny and caring guy that likes to drum.  It’s going to be replaced by materialistic goods and shiny things made to impress and gather attention.

I’m spewing out a lot of negativity.  But  I suppose what I’m trying to do is showcase the importance of never forgetting who you are.  As the moments fly by, there are always going to be experiences that challenges us, morphs us, and changes our ideals, but we can’t forget about the moments of how we came to be.  Those are the moments that we’ve cried tears of pain, cried tears from laughter, rejoiced, shouted in rage, felt comforted in belonging, reached out to shelter someone, dedicated so much work to achieve a goal…

Those are moments where we are human beings simply living.  Those are moments where you are simply you rather than a brand or a marketed demographic.

When you’re fighting for you and not a place to fit in this rat race of societal progression, you’re fighting for an honest belief.  Whether that belief is a personal challenge, to prove the legacy of mommy and daddy, to showcase the love for your significant other, to provide laughter to close friends, or whatever, it’s a honest belief that hasn’t been told to you by some marketing firm.  And when someone achieves success in defending that belief, that is a true accomplishment.  In essence, a feeling of pure happiness.

I suppose a lot of this comes down to happiness.  And not that false gratification, I’m talking about that pure happiness.  This world is so clouded by thugs and con-artists, it’s overwhelming at times.  But after we fight through all that sludge and filth and actually get to that pure happiness, we’re rewarded with that glorious sight of seeing the world in a beautiful light.  You understand why you are who you are, what you believe in, and most of all, you understand why you fight for what you believe in.

So the fright of growing up may be a part of my life, to know so many people are out to get me, to change my mind, to tell me to buy this, and to tell me to look like that.  But I know that within the years, there is a path that will lead to a beautiful and fulfilling life as long as the belief in myself is always there.  You can never forget who you are or what you fight for, because if you do, you not only lose your individuality…  But worst of all, you lose your sense of beauty.

Life is truly what you make it, so create beauty.  Create a beautiful life.

-Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect
Latana

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