The transition from living a sheltered adult life from the basement of your parent’s house to living in a big city to fend for yourself has been…
Surprisingly easy.
I was a little worried that I was going to get crushed underneath all the weight of responsibilities and finances. But I figured out that when I’m bored, I shouldn’t just stuff my face with $50 meals at ritzy restaurants and buy bottles of expensive liquors. After that, I realized how one lives financially responsible.
I’m living in a nice house with like-aged individuals and we get along fairly decently. I work a job that isn’t very stressful. I have a ton of time to practice and work on my jazz and Latin drum beats. And the awesome thing is… I can still buy decent booze!
I remember when I really started to feel settled into the new surroundings, my roommate/good friend and I went out on a Sunday night to get a bite to eat and watch the end of a football game. We both had different reasons on why we actually moved to where we’re at right now and our paths in life were drastically different. But for some strange and fated reason, we seemed to have stuck together in the past years and we both made the move to “The Cities” together. As we finished our meal we decided to explore the area a little bit to grab one more drink before we called it a night.
Obviously three hours later, a slightly drunken state of mind, and a decision to trespass and climb onto trains, we called it a night. But somewhere after the drinks and before the urban exploring, we sat down on a bench. In front of us was the Mississippi River and beyond that was the skyline of Downtown Minneapolis. While we were sitting down on that bench and talking to each other, I had my eyes fixed on that horizon and it hit me. I turned to my friend and said…
“We made it… We FINALLY made it!”
We finally made the transition out of our hometown and it was all done without the help of mom or dad holding our hands through the whole thing. I mean, this wasn’t my first move, I went down to Iowa for a few years but then found myself back home.
But this move meant a lot more than just moving my bed from one home to another home or leaving the coziness of your parent’s warmth. I love my parents and my home a lot and I had a really good music gig teaching kids. My job at the time was bearable and there were few musical performing opportunities if one looked hard enough.
The move signified a closure of a chapter in my life and the beginning sentences of something that I feel is going to be a lot of hard work but a beautiful goal at the end of everything. I spent a lot of time and energy is the past years dealing with fantasies and stupid small details. I’m sure people call it a lot of different things like “growing up”, or “learning from your mistakes”, or (my personal favorite) “Not giving a fuck”.
I think through all the messing around, tallboys of PBR, and morning-afters with whiskey dried in my mouth, I would gradually grow a little bit wiser and filter out all a lot of immaturity and bad ideas out of of body. Perhaps my liver has some magical power that breaks down not only alcohol but stupidity as well… Or maybe I’m just making an excuse for my awesome partying habits…
But all joking aside, to me the best part about growth is learning what really matters to you and learning how to care for those things that you cherish with your heart. Besides the facepalm and embarrassment, I enjoy looking back at my past self and thinking about all the foolish and small things I took way too seriously. I look at myself now and see how little an impact those small things actual had in my life and feel that weight lift off of me. And now all that time and energy spent on something that doesn’t really matter can be spent on the things I love.
During the past few months, I’ve gone through quite of bit of existential crises. Typically I’d sulk a bit and crawl up into a little ball hoping things would just go away. But not anymore. It’s a new chapter and instead of letting things just happen, I’m going to write this one out… You know that, “take the bulls by the horn” analogy. I’ve kind of scared myself into making sure I take advantage of the opportunities and abilities I have and not just sit around on my butt watching television shows that showcase stupid videos of rednecks shooting each other.
I’m starting to see a change in my behavior and habits. I’m starting to take care of myself a bit more by running, eating better, and limiting a bad tobacco habit. I’m reading a bit more and challenging my mind so my brain isn’t a pile of useless mush. I’m drumming a lot more and making a lot of progress on my drum beats. And the biggest change? I’ve decided to fully commit myself to finally returning back to school and getting that diploma.
Is all of this stuff just wishful thinking and a short episode of enlightenment? I’m confident that it’s not. I’m confident that this is the beginning of that goal of achieving something “Big”.
Well now, it’s Thanksgiving night and I haven’t seen my cat in a long time. Even in a time of personal greatness, there’s always time to rub a cat’s belly. 
Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect
-Latana
